If I had to describe myself, I would say I’m laid back - just staying out of the way. To quote a rapper that I like, ‘I’m just an ordinary black man trying to make it.’
Right now, my biggest concern is figuring out how to rebuild my life and create a secure future.
Even though I have a few bachelors degrees and trade certificates, I spent all of my 20’s and half of my 30’s in prison... Not contributing to Social Security or retirement. So I worry about what opportunities I will have and what I’m going to do when I get old.
I wonder if more doors will open for me in the future to where I can save and invest and create a secure future. When my back is broken and I can’t work anymore will I have a future?
I wonder what these politicians in Washington are doing to make it harder for me to reach these goals. I know there’s a whole lot going on in the all of this political craziness right now but I’m just trying to figure out how I can navigate through the land mines; because if I’m not in a position of comfortably taking care of myself, I can’t really be of any quality help to anyone else. That’s what I worry about.
Coming from where I came from, it often feels like you can’t get much worse than being locked in a prison cell. But there’s so much potential in the world. So my faith just comes from the possibilities of what could be.
I remember sitting in the bullpen – the little cages behind the courtroom where they hold you before they shuffle you into the courtroom. And I remember praying, “Lord get me out of this and I’ll never do anything ever again” - lying to myself and everyone else.
Getting locked up was a blessing because it was enough time for me to have that internal paradigm shift - to leave my old life - but it wasn’t too much time to where I died in there.
So I look at it like the ‘universe’ or God or whatever you want to label it knows what it’s doing. Things come together I guess how they’re supposed to be. You just have to get in your place. That’s where my hope and faith come from.
When you think about your loved ones, of course you want them to have more – you want them to live a great life.
But our system is almost set up that in order to get this better future for yourself and the people you love then somebody else has to have not. Almost like in order to get what you need, somebody has to be deprived.
So if I could create the future, I would make a world where everybody could have what they needed.
There has to be enough abundance in this world for everyone to have what they need. When I go to these grocery stores I see so much food and I know that we’re not going to use all of it - that so much is going to go to waste. But you have people over here starving - their stomach touching their back.
So I would create a world where everybody could have - not one where person A gets more and then person B gets nothing. Everyone would just have what they need. Be happy. Live. Dream. Create. My future would be something along those lines.